Why?

The trip didn't started auspiciously. We arrived in Talkeetna during a storm cycle. After waiting for the weather to improve we realized there was too much snow in the Tok for the plane to land and were forced to make new plans. Internet research found some alternatives; we decided to climb Mt. Johnson. As luck would have it the night before we left I picked up an Alpinist at TAT and on the last page was a picture of Jim Sweeny at Providence Hospital. Intrigued I read the article. It was entitled "Full Value" and told a story of survival. While attempting Mt Johnson he took a fall badly injuring himself. His femur is dislocated.  It started to avalanche, pummeling the crippled climbers. For eight days he survived while his partner dragged him towards safety. Avalanche after avalanche buried them. The gear was swept away. The were both dumped into a crevasse. Frozen, continually getting buried and with only one wet sleeping bag Jim laid on the glacier dying. His partner screamed in his face asking him if he wanted to die. If he didn't he had to fight for his life. The story ends by stating Jim was still climbing and still had no medical insurance. The next morning we flew out, however the story will stay with me.

A few days later it was my turn. Endless spindrift was funneling down the route. Rock and ice falling all around, exploding as they smashed into the wall. For hours we hid under a rock face unable to continue or retreat. As the sun moved the wall above us started to release. Avalanches arced over our head, thundering into the couloir we had just ascended.

Again the question is why? Why would someone chose this time and time again? The answer is different for everyone. Perhaps some don't have an answer. Your life simplified, finding stillness in chaos. The beauty of the simple things in life. Food, sleep, shelter; nothing else matters. The feeling of being truly alive, the satisfaction of pushing yourself to your limits, returning shattered and yet rejuvenated.  Some find this in religion, some in creating music or art, some in mediation, each in their individual way. Most of the world never finds this, living their life cluttered by their thoughts and emotions. Never finding their release. As my Australian friend once told me, "95% of the world never has a experienced a 'near life' situation." Perhaps someday I can find fulfillment in a less dangerous, less selfish way. Until then, I too will be climbing.